About Rest for the Weary

I hope you will find this little spot a place of rest and refreshment for your soul. My intention is to build up women in the trenches of homeschooling. This includes veterans who are burned out and former homeschooling moms who have decided for one reason or another to put some or all of their children in school. Thanks for stopping by. Take a deep breath of refreshment for your weary soul.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Cons of homeschooling

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Are there cons to homeschooling?
This is a hard post to write because I once was unabashedly pro-homeschooling and didn’t really believe there were cons to homeschooling.    Now, I am still for it in the right circumstances,  but I am not an over-the-top-everyone-needs-to-homeschool-to-be-a-good-parent any longer.  Many of you may be churning around the school choice decision in your mind, so I wanted to offer a few cons that I have discovered personally or through friends through my many years of homeschooling.  These aren’t normally verbalized because to do so would mean that it is not the perfect form of education and many in the movement would not want to admit that.  But I want to share these homeschooling cons for consideration so that people can make an informed choice.

1.  Financial.

Most families give up a second income to homeschool.  It is very difficult to have both parents work and     homeschool, although not impossible.   Many families who homeschool make a lot of sacrifices financially to live on one income. This is good to a point (being thrifty is a virtue IMHO), but it can be problematic as the years go on because some accumulate debt, others go without some things that really are needed (like regular dental care), most can’t save a lot for the future, and others can’t get loans for homes and cars.

2. Learning disabilities.

For many children with learning disabilities, homeschooling can be ideal.  I am homeschooling my dyslexic daughter for that very reason.  However, if you homeschool from the beginning, you may not be able to catch learning disabilities as quick if you are not well versed with them.  Also, the homeschool community tends to tout a better late than early approach so many moms don’t begin to worry or question problems until much later than the schools would.  I have personal experience with this because my oldest son was diagnosed with several learning disabilities at age 10.  I was a firm believer in letting children develop when they were ready and took the aforementioned approach with learning to read. Had I been knowledgeable about learning disabilities or he had been in school, this may have been caught sooner.

3. Lazy, unmotivated students.

Some kids just do not work well for mom.  Many of them tend to be lazy and unmotivated without that outside accountability.  I found this to be especially true as they reach the middle school years and my boys were also more like that although that may not be typical.  I think it is due more to personality.  My lazy children work so much better for their teachers at school.

4. Parent-child relationship.

This ties in with the one above.  Many times if you have a lazy child, you will be on them a lot, nagging them to get their work done.  Often they will complain that the work is dumb or boring.  This can lead to a lot of tension between mom and child because it wears mom down. I know with one child of mine in particular, I was not willing to sacrifice our relationship any longer because of homeschooling.  Now that she is out of the house for her education, the tension between us has reduced.

5. Socialization problems.

This is the most common con that homeschool opponents put forth to homeschoolers. After homeschooling 7 children for 20 years, I believe that homeschooling is not always the best socially for SOME children.  Both of my adult children whom were homeschooled completely through high school, thought that they were at a disadvantage socially.  I think if you homeschool your children, you need to take personalities into account and make sure you have plenty of opportunities for getting your children involved with friends especially when they are teens.
I am sure there are other cons of homeschooling, but these are the ones I have noticed the most.  Feel free to share any cons you have encountered through homeschooling.

4 comments:

  1. Debbie says: August 9, 2015 at 3:11 am

    It’s so good to read someone else saying these things. I have dealt with 1-3 and starting to worry about 4 and 5. I agree 100% about disabilities. My middle child is 9 and we are still working on reading. He is getting a dyslexia eval this month so I can better decide about school for home. Please keep writing. This blog is like therapy. :)

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  2. llmom27@att.net says: August 17, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    So glad you find it helpful. Sometimes I wonder if my writing is helping others. When I get these types of reminders, I am encouraged to write more.

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  3. Debbie says: August 9, 2015 at 3:13 am

    That should read: decide about school or home, not school for home

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  4. I'm late to this but SO greatful! I just put my 1st grader in public school (late) as we were struggling with 3&4 (probably 2&5 as well). He is Absolutely thriving- he is so motivated and caught up quickly to his peers where I could barely get him to listen to a story. We could use the financial boost but I'm planning to homeschool my oldest 1 more year than put her in for middle school & the baby in pre-K. I am really craving going back to work and/or school (as a teacher). I've been out for 5 years homeschooling!

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