About Rest for the Weary

I hope you will find this little spot a place of rest and refreshment for your soul. My intention is to build up women in the trenches of homeschooling. This includes veterans who are burned out and former homeschooling moms who have decided for one reason or another to put some or all of their children in school. Thanks for stopping by. Take a deep breath of refreshment for your weary soul.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Finding self outside of homeschooling

 I have talked before about hobbies and self-care; how vital they are to a mother’s well-being. This has been on my mind a lot lately because in prayer I have really felt the Lord tell me to rest and be kind to myself.  Why do I think I have to do something to be worthy and accepted? 
 I have struggled to find who I am without glue stick covered fingers thumbing through a teacher’s manual while cooking dinner.  Among all of the things that come with homeschooling and maintaining a home, I lost myself.  That may sound a bit like new age mumbo jumbo, but what I mean is what things  do I love, value, and do for myself?  If one of my roles is taken from me (like homeschooling) who is left and what do I love?    Do roles define me or what? 

I can’t allow myself to get so lost in the things I do for others because when a new season arrives (like an empty nest), I will stare in the mirror wondering who is looking back. 

I actually have already experienced this a bit, and it is bothering me thus the need to bleed it onto the computer screen.  I can’t find what I like anymore or what brings me joy besides my family.  I dove head first, all gung ho, into the mothering/homeschooling gig.  I left me the wife sitting on the edge, dipping her toes in when she could take it or had time, and left friend, child of God, and woman back in the bathroom.  Along with them, I abandoned spirituality, needs, desires, growth, and wants as discarded unessentials in my mind.  What I didn’t realize at the time is those are my life preservers.  I need to find them and reclaim them and find new things to fill me.  But it is uncomfortable discovering new things yet at the same time exciting.  What does God have planned for me in this new phase of my life without homeschooling?  I am assured it is good because He promises a future and a hope.  But like my little productive self, I want to do it now and know now probably so I can try to control it.  I still cling to control a lot.  But God is so patient in helping me release that to Him.  Maybe you can’t relate or you are nodding your head vigorously in agreement.  Whatever the case may be, take care of yourself.  Discover all of you, not just the mom-as-educator-you. 


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Making the decision: Homeschool, private, or public.

Most of us are nearing the end of school.  You may have mixed feelings about summer or are super excited to get to spend fun time with your children.  Whatever the case may be, I bet some of you are discerning schooling options for your children for the fall.  I know I am.  Sometimes, it can be so overwhelming to think about the issues that come with school decisions.  So, how can you decide?  How can you know what God wants for your family?  The obvious thing is to pray and discuss the issue with your spouse.  Some may find it helpful to read about others' choices and put things in writing can help you flesh things out. I am a visual so I like to write it down--make little charts and lists.  So how did/do I decide? I thought I might share in case you are in this stage and feel a little lost or wary.   

1.  Write down all of the available options even if some seem far fetched or ones you don't think you would choose. These can include public, private or parochial, charter, homeschool, hybrid school, part time school, etc.
2.  Next, make a pro's and con's list for each.
3.  Ask yourself if you could live with any of the con's listed.  (after all, there is no perfect option)
4.  Be open to your needs.  What do you really need, not so much what you want. As you look through your list, ask yourself if you are being honest about your needs or is the ghost of your public school past breathing down your neck.  (see #6)
5.  If some of the con's seem insurmountable, are there ways to overcome them.  For example, at first glance private school may seem out of your league because you know your financial situation.  But on further investigation, you may find out there are scholarships available, multi-child discounts, grandparents willing to help etc.
6. Remind yourself that your child's experience won't be yours.  I know I worried about my kids getting teased a lot because that was my experience.  Also, remember kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.
7.  Hopefully, after looking and pondering a bit, you can cross off a few options that you know will not work.  When I first sent my children to school, I did this whole process, but I was too scared to make a decision. I informed my husband and let him in on it.  In the end he made the decision I knew in my gut we needed to make but was too scared to do.

If you have any ideas on how to make this school decision, please share in the comments.  Also, let me and the other readers know your decision. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

Summer time

The end of school is quickly approaching.  Whether you home school or send your children to a brick and mortar school, it can be a much needed time for a break for everyone.  From the emails I receive, I hear from moms who have made either the complete or partial transition to school or those still discerning as to whether school may be a better choice for their families.  For those who choose to put their children in school, summer can be a much different experience than those moms who home school. 

For the home school mom, summer is a busy time of the year, but it is a different kind of busy.  Most homeschooling moms take the summer months off to plan for the coming year and catch up on house projects.  Time is spent researching and purchasing curriculum, organizing last year’s work, cleaning out and refreshing the home school area, and evaluating how the year went.  Once you make the decision to send children off to school, summer can look much different.  The first time I sent children to school, my summer was spent purchasing things needed for school, collecting records for the school, and spending a lot of fun time with the kids.  If this is your first time sending children to school after homeschooling, you will find that your summer will not include school planning in the same way unless you are keeping some home.  What a change that is and a refreshing one for many!  More time will be freed up for working on those projects you never got to, time to spend on yourself, and more time to just enjoy your children instead of having to wear the teacher hat. 

Since most of my children were in school this past year, I plan on spending a lot of time enjoying time with them.  I am more than ready to just be mom and not have to be in teacher mode.  I won’t spend August frantically deciding what we will be doing for school.  I won’t dread the coming school year because I am comfortable in my decision to have them in school. 


What are doing this summer instead of school planning?