When did I think I became the author of my family’s life? Why did I think I could write the script with a happily ever after ending? In my little mind, I had the whole manuscript laid out before they were even all born. Down to the year they would be born?!?
I like predictability. I enjoy a bit of suspense and action from time to time, but by and large, I like consistency and safety. Part of that is because I have always been a fearful, anxious person. I don’t trust enough. So, I want to compose the story so I know what will happen and won’t have to face the uncertainty. I don’t want to have to look in the mirror and think You messed that up. Like a rejection letter from an editor, I take on the burden and think I am no good, don’t mother well, etc. if my children choose differently than my preconceived idea of a story.
The God who planned and created the universe has this all under control and can write a much better script than I can. But sometimes we don’t always like every story, and I find that I don’t like how he writes mine quite often. Because I don’t like the sad, painful points. I like my happily ever after to run through the whole story.
How can I learn to let Him be the author of my life story? Like so many other areas, it is a matter of trust, of slow finger-prying-off-the-wheel-letting go. I need to remember that He has the big picture in mind, and I can’t see into the future and definitely I can’t read ahead in the story. Can I hold on and look forward to how it is played out, waiting for each thrilling chapter in the book of life? Can I savor the joy, the pain, the loss, the good, as one all-encompassing, beautiful story ? Isn’t a new story, one we have never encountered more exciting than one where we know the ending? The God who created the universe and keeps it all in balance is the best author with the best selling stories.