About Rest for the Weary

I hope you will find this little spot a place of rest and refreshment for your soul. My intention is to build up women in the trenches of homeschooling. This includes veterans who are burned out and former homeschooling moms who have decided for one reason or another to put some or all of their children in school. Thanks for stopping by. Take a deep breath of refreshment for your weary soul.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Reasons people quit homeschooling: Improved relationships

In the last two posts I discussed burnout and special needs as some reasons people choose to quit homeschooling and put their children in school.  Another reason some moms choose school after homeschooling is because they have been having trouble with one or more children and hope school will improve their relationship. Strained relationships with children can cause burnout so this combined reason may be a factor in the decision.
For me personally, this became a motivation for me with three of my children.  Some children do not respond to their mom as well as someone else.  For other children, they are motivated by the positive peer pressure of not wanting to look dumb in front of the teacher or students and thus they behave a perform well in school.  My one teen son had become so lazy and unmotivated for me that I knew something had to change.  I was tired of the constant nagging (on my part) and whining on his.  By this time, I was really burned out from a combination of things, that this was the final break for me.  School has been so good for him.  He has done amazingly well for the above reasons I stated.  I am no longer the "bad guy" creating dumb and boring assignments (according to him).
Another child came to the point where he flat out refused to do the work for me.  No amount of rewards or punishment changed his attitude.  School has been a blessing for him as well.  He works very hard to make sure he has his assignments done because he fears being embarrassed in front of his teacher and friends.
My third child has always been an arguer.  Part of this is because she is a tween, but most of it is because it is part of her personality.  I became so tired of hearing a debate on the stupidity of all of the school work (most of which was hands on and/or Charlotte Mason type things).  She also craved the social aspect of school.
In all of these cases, I put them in school because I wanted to improve my relationship with them.  I didn't want my children remembering battling with me over school.  I wanted to just be there mom because they can have many teachers but only one mom.  I also wanted to be more refreshed and relaxed for them when we were together.  Having that time alone without the battles gave me the strength to handle any problems when they were home, and they didn't bother me as much.  I am such a better mom for them when they are away from me some of the time.
Realize if this is one reason you are considering school that you understand it may get worse before it gets better.  (that can be true of many of the reasons).  Adjustment takes time, but I saw results quickly for this problem.

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