Where do we find our worth? I have been pondering this a lot lately. When I put my children in school last year, I felt worthless. I felt like I was no longer needed and thus not worthy. Being "just a mom" didn't seem like enough, as if homeschooling is what made me holy. My identity is wrapped up in homeschooling and motherhood. That isn't always a bad thing, but when part of that was taken away, I felt worthless. Yes, it was a major "career change" and felt like my right arm had been cut off, but I let it bring me down. I need to find my worth in God. I have always had in my mind the perfect little plan of how my life would play out. I wrote the script long ago, but someone stole it and rewrote the script. Um, that someone is the great I AM. I didn't plan for depression and anxiety, miscarriages, a bipolar son. I need to rest in knowing I am needed by my family in whatever capacity that takes. I ran across this quote recently (sorry I can't source it-I lost that), and it is worth posting.
"You have to let go of your ideal and find God's ideal---then make that your reality." I am really meditating on that.
About Rest for the Weary
I hope you will find this little spot a place of rest and refreshment for your soul. My intention is to build up women in the trenches of homeschooling. This includes veterans who are burned out and former homeschooling moms who have decided for one reason or another to put some or all of their children in school. Thanks for stopping by. Take a deep breath of refreshment for your weary soul.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Often we think of peer pressure only pertaining to children and in particular, to teenagers. But I have noticed how much this occurs for mothers. It seems to be natural to compare ourselves to others, feeling like we don’t measure up to some made up yardstick and thus leads to peer pressure that I think we form ourselves. What I mean is this. Say you switch to dresses only because you see a certain mom/s doing this and see that they seem quite holy and have it all together. Maybe you read about it, pray about it, and hopefully discuss it with someone (although I know I tend to skip this step). You make the switch, time goes by, and then you see that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all or is no longer working for your family. So, you consider a change. Problem is that you might think, What will Sally think if I make this change? Will I still be as holy? We doubt, we feel less than, we question, and sometimes we don’t make that much-needed change because we don’t want flack from those who support us (or the flack we think they will give us but not necessarily). I know for me, it took me forever to acknowledge that my children needed to go to school. I felt like I wouldn’t have friends anymore, that I wasn’t as good of a mother, and that something was wrong with me. It took almost a complete break down for me to pay attention to God and realize it didn’t matter what my friends said, I needed to do this. To my surprise (although I don’t know why), the majority of them were very supportive and understood. I was the one with that ole’ yardstick, measuring my abilities or lack thereof.
Why do we do this? I think a lot of it is because we are so alone in the choice of living the teachings of the Church. Our culture is completely against us and oftentimes, even our very own family. We grope for much needed support, and we need to feel right in our decision so much so that what our friends think means so much to us. For the most part, I don’t think many women are intentionally putting pressure on other mothers to be a certain way, but there are those mothers who act as though they know the will of God for your family, and that makes it much harder for some moms to do what they need to do for their family. I think we all need a bit more charity. This world is so hard to navigate that we don’t need to feel we have to swim through the opinions of our friends choices when they are different from ours. We don’t always know the whole situation. Maybe it would be best to lend a listening ear or a helping hand to better understand why someone made the decision they did.