I have been fretting about passion---my gift---making art. As I reflect inwardly, I see that I am just a mom. How I have vehemently hated that whole feminist idea that there is no fulfillment in motherhood, yet here I embrace it as if what I do doesn't matter. I have known my whole life that I wanted to be a mother--to be home with them building a foundation of love, living life. I knew my senior year in college (pre-baby days) that I wanted to homeschool. I thought, who better to teach than my own. I always loved to teach so a combination of mothering and teaching seemed as natural to me as breathing. Why does it seem as if it's not enough? Sometimes I think it's because the rewards are not tangible. I can't grasp them in my hands, turn them around again admiring my prize. They don't sit sparkling on a shelf for the world to see. I think too, I have been doing it for all of the praise I want to receive from my children. I expect that they will pat me on the back, say thanks and how great a job I have done. When they don't, my pesky friend doubt whispers to me what you do doesn't matter. They don't care. But we are not to called to create and love for them or even for us alone but for the Master. The rewards? Well, a few may be sprinkled here and there, but I think the reward in this life needs to be the doing---creating---loving---being. Ya know, be in the moment, mindfully present, acknowledging every gift that crosses your path.
That is why I think the feeling of being just a mom invaded my peace. I am like my father used to be on his way home from vacation when I was a child. Like a horse racing back to the barn after a strenuous day, he raced home, never stopping at the roadside stands or souvenir shops. I have been speeding through the pages of time, rushing to get to the end of my story to see if there is a happy ending and if I did. it. RIGHT. So, I am going to stop and "smell the roses" along the way and squeeze every bit of enjoyment that I can and even embrace the hard lessons of life.
About Rest for the Weary
I hope you will find this little spot a place of rest and refreshment for your soul. My intention is to build up women in the trenches of homeschooling. This includes veterans who are burned out and former homeschooling moms who have decided for one reason or another to put some or all of their children in school. Thanks for stopping by. Take a deep breath of refreshment for your weary soul.